Lord of clichés
by Clumsy Psychopath
Summary: The world of fanfiction is filled with so many clichés. This is my attempt at oneshots where Harry would defeat Lord Voldemort one cliché at a time. Each chapter would be a complete story in itself and further chapters would be added each time I get a new idea. ONESHOT.


Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me.

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**Harry Potter and the ****Shopping Mania**

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Harry was at the time standing in the halls of Gringotts, after finding of his more than vast inheritance, his titles and lordships.

Suffice to say that young Harry wasn't sure what to do with all that money.

Since Harry was small, he was forced to wear old cast-offs discarded by the two hunchba… well-endowed males of Dursley family.

Harry corrected himself mid-thought 'People with… larger than life… personality don't usually like to be told that they should probably exercise. Or you know… not engulf everything within the horizon.'

With a less than subtle glint in his eyes, Harry thought about all the things he could buy, now that he had the money to afford them.

"Somethin' funny, Kid?" Hagrid inquired, putting his hands on young Harry's shoulders.

'That's how Atlas must have felt, trying to shoulder the sky,' Harry winced, giving a genuine smile to his charge. "It's nothing Hagrid."

"I was just thinking about buying a few things of my own." Harry continued after a small pause and stepped back a couple feet to look at the older man.

"I don' know," Hagrid was still looking at him with some concern, but after seeing the sad look in Harry's eyes, he relented. "But it ain't hurtin' my pockets."

Seeing Harry perk up Hagrid continued "What d'ya wanna buy anyways?"

"I don't know, Hagrid" Harry started walking towards the door. "Whatever catches my fancy, I guess."

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"An' that's how it happened, professor." Hagrid was sitting in the office of one Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.

"Tell me once again, Hagrid" The said professor sighed, "How exactly did it happen, that a young boy of eleven bought out the entire Diagon Alley."

"Trut' be told, he looks a bit touched in the head, professor." Hagrid murmured, remembering the happenings of the day "If ya' know what I mean."

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"There is no way we would win, Harry," a redheaded girl was found crying in the arms of her soon-to-be-husb… brother's friend after one of their weekly meetings in the Room of Requirements.

"We have neither the power nor the resources to fight them," continued the sobbing wreck.

"Don't worry, Ginny" The said prince charming looked into the eyes of Ginny before assuring her, "We will win. I know we will because we have what Voldemort will never have."

Ginny's heart was thumping a thousand beats per minute. With her blushing face hidden in the shoulders of her paramour, she asked "Is it… love?"

Harry blinked and then blinked again "It's money, Ginny." Before holding out his hands and removing the ancient magic that hid his Lordship rings.

"Why are you wearing a gauntlet, Harry?" Ginny questioned Harry in the most Slytherin way she possibly could.

"Look closely, Ginevra" Harry had one of those smirks "On each of my finger are three Lordship rings."

"I might not have the raw power to defeat the Dark Lord" He continued "But I surely have more than enough resources. I'll become the Tywin Lannister of Wizarding world if I have to. For every mercenary he buys, I'll buy three more. I already own the Diagon alley. I'll buy Vertic alley, Horizont alley, Ziczac alley. I'll buy the clothes stores that make those capes and the tattoo parlour where they meet in the evenings."

With fire in his eyes, Harry whispered, "I'll buy everything."

"What's a Tywin?"

* * *

"And that's why all Potters are blood traitors, and all Weasleys should be killed." A young blonde teenager was seen sitting across a man listening with rapt attention.

"But, I thought we were talking about our business expansion..." The boy sounded confused "Where did the Weasleys come from?"

"They are always there, kid." An adult who suspiciously looked like the boy's father said in a solemn voice "They are a threat by sheer force of numbers."

"Oi… Draco, quit stalling and bring me a double chocolate, would ya?" The sound of Ron Weasley came, cutting whatever further family secrets the elderly blonde was about to impart onto his younger clone.

"Of course, Mr Weasley."

The sycophantic smile that came over his father peeved Scorpius quite a bit, but then he went back to cleaning the tables.

'Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, now named Malfoys Magical Munchies is the first step towards rebuilding our business empire.' Draco smiled.

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**Muse:**

Like it? Hate it? Review and share your opinions…

A tribute to all those lazy writers who have absolutely no content and so decide to add a chapter where our favorite MC goes out to shop and buy bags and water bottles and time turners and who knows what else.

Tywin Lannister was a badass and if you disagree you can s*ck it.

Speaking of Game of thrones, anyone else felt the killings of Night King and Rhaegal was tooooooooo anticlimactic?

I mean SERIOUSLY? They took more time showing the death of a translator(a useless one, I might add) than they did showing the death of a freakin' dragon...

Rate it on a scale of 1 french fry to 7¼ slices of pizza.

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Stay tuned.

Cheers,

Clumsy Psychopath


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